By Erin Free
In this regular column, we drag forgotten made-for-TV movies out of the vault and into the light. This week: 1979’s Jane Seymour starrer Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and its 1980 sequel Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders II.
Because of the speed with which they were devised, developed and produced, US telemovies of the 1970s and 1980s could respond to societal trends and changes in a much more fleet-footed manner than their big screen counterparts. Thus, for instance, a plane crash in Florida accompanied by some very curious witness accounts could quickly be fashioned into a telemovie like 1978’s The Ghost Of Flight 401, or the enormous popularity of a band like Kiss could rapidly be harnessed for a 1978 small screen movie like Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park. One of America’s biggest pop cultural sensations of the 1970s and 1980s (and right up until today) was without question The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, so it’s no surprise that these star-spangled NFL high-kickers prompted the production of not one, but two popular telemovies.
Though NFL teams have always had cheerleaders, The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders were the first to truly become a pop cultural commodity unto themselves. The pure Americana of their costumes, their greater air of professionalism, and their impressive dancing skills meant that The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders captured audience attention in a way that other cheer squads couldn’t. The savvy marketing soon followed, with the red-white-and-blue dance squad from Texas soon emblazoned on posters and calendars, and also making major incursions into America’s vaulted pop cultural pantheon.
As well as appearing on TV shows like The Love Boat (in multiple episodes, no less), The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders also mixed it up with two of Marvel’s heaviest hitters in the 1982 promotional comic book Spider-Man And The Incredible Hulk In Southwest Showdown. Less wholesomely, The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders also inspired the infamous 1978 porn flick Debbie Does Dallas, which follows a gaggle of naughty gals trying out for a cheer team very obviously (and litigiously) modelled on Texas’ best dance squad. Today, The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are still front and centre courtesy of the popular reality TV series Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making The Team, which tracks the exhaustive annual audition process. Long ago monikered “America’s Sweethearts”, The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders have been a pop cultural sensation for decades, and they were very well-served by the telemovie form.
Directed by Robert Bilson (a prolific TV vet who has directed episodes of pretty much every American series broadcast from the 1960s onwards) and written by Robert Hamner (who almost challenges Bilson in the career credits stakes), the boldly titled Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders centres on serious-minded investigative journalist Laura Coleman (TV legend Jane Seymour at her most striking and likeable), who is leaned on by her boyfriend and editor Lyman Spencer (the now largely forgotten Bert Convy, who enjoyed a busy career in the 1970s and 1980s playing small screen smarmy types before finding great success as a game show host, even starting a production company with superstar Burt Reynolds) to go undercover with the hugely popular and apparently squeaky clean Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Lyman is certain that “America’s Sweethearts” must have some dark secrets, and he instructs Laura to dig up a little dirt for a tawdry magazine feature story. This means, yes, that Jane Seymour has to get her groove on for the rigorous audition process, which involves lots of late-1970s disco moves that would have viewers of the contemporary series Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making The Team reeling in shock – getting into The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders is obviously a lot more difficult now than it was in the freewheeling 1970s.
After impressing the judges with her moves, Laura is measured up for an iconic red-white-and-blue DCC uniform. Now part of the team, the seasoned investigative journalist starts to dig around for salacious details and potential stories, but – no surprise, considering this telemovie comes fully endorsed by The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders organisation itself – finds nothing but a group of likeable young women working hard to make it in the competitive world of dancing. Sure, they might have a few minor personal problems, and they certainly enjoy having a good time and cutting a rug at local disco Scotland Yard (which comes complete with plaid wallpaper!), but there’s very little for Laura Coleman to get excited about…except being a cheerleader! Like many undercover operatives before her, Laura eventually comes to embrace those she’s been sent to infiltrate, much to the chagrin of the smarmy Lyman Spencer, who is so desperate for a story that he sets up innocent cheerleader Jessie (The Love Boat‘s Lauren Tewes) in a topless photo shoot sting. Laura ultimately has to make a choice between high kicks and sleazy journalism…
Though the lovely Jane Seymour is certainly the star here, much of the appeal of Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders is the involvement of the eponymous real-life high-kickers, who appear in a number of scenes during the film, both on the field in formation (their routines are sensational) and off the field individually, with famously pig-tailed Tami Barber a noted scene stealer. Real life Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders choreographer and dance teacher Texie Waterman appears in a minor supporting role as herself, while noted Texas broadcaster Ron Chapman also appears. The biggest form of DCC verisimilitude, however, comes via prolific TV actress Laraine Stephens, who plays Suzanne Mitchell, the real-life artistic director and public relations pro who served as the director of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders from 1976 to 1989. Mitchell – who is largely credited with turning The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders into a highly professional and high-profile outfit during her lengthy tenure – plays a major role in the film, serving as the demanding but empathetic boss and mentor to the cheerleaders.
Wholly entertaining and of-its-era (the many disco scenes are a real delight), Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders is a fascinating look inside a major American pop cultural institution. The 1979 telemovie was a ratings winner for major US network ABC, and a sequel was quickly put into production, with director Robert Bilson and writer Robert Hamner swapped out for Michael O’Herlihy and Stephen Kandel, respectively, both of whom boast similarly impressive and prolific TV resumes. Jane Seymour disappointingly didn’t return for Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders II, and the film’s focus thus shifts to Suzanne Mitchell herself, again well-played by Laraine Stephens. As well as dealing with the demands and minor crises of her dancers (which include indecision over getting married and confusion over how much to allow cheerleading to intrude on a nursing career), Mitchell’s biggest dilemma comes courtesy of documentary filmmaker Terry Killian (TV host and actor John Davidson takes on the sleazy Bert Convy role this time), who eyes off one wannabe cheerleader and tries to make her a star in a decidedly smarmy and Svengali-like manner. Though lacking the punch of its predecessor (and the considerable star power of the fantastic Jane Seymour), Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders II is still great fun, and pleasingly offers beefed-up roles for real life cheerleaders Lucille Baker, Tami Barber and Cindy Garger.
Terrific small screen time capsules, the telemovies Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders I & II are a must for current fans of the reality hit Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making The Team, serving as a flavourful popcorn indicator of how much things have changed, and also of how much things have stayed the same with the iconic sideline cheer squad: apart from the quality level of the dancing today, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders audition process is essentially identical to what we see in the telemovies, right down to the old-school whiteboard and ruthless culling system. These two vintage telemovies are well worth tracking down, and pretty much represent the point of the triangle when it comes to fictional depictions of The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.
Availability: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders is available to buy and rent in excellent condition via Prime and other streaming platforms, while Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders II is also easy to find elsewhere in a fairly clear presentation.
If you enjoyed this review, check out our other vintage telemovies Police Story: A Chance To Live, Murder On Flight 502, Moon Of The Wolf, The Secret Night Caller, Cotton Candy, And The Band Played On, Gargoyles, Death Car On The Freeway, Short Walk To Daylight, Trapped, Hotline, Killdozer, The Jericho Mile, Mongo’s Back In Town, and Tribes.
