By Travis Johnson

We’re getting a Justice League movie this year. Are we getting a good Justice League movie? Who can say, although if you mapped Zack Snyder’s output on a graph where x=time and y=quality, you could make a pretty educated guess. We fully expect his next film to be a shot-for-shot remake of Manos: the Hands of Fate. With speed-ramping.

Anyhoo, Warner saw fit to release a new photo of the team (minus Superman, because Snyder actually hates him and plus, certain events in Batman V Superman. Let’s see what we’ve got:

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Well, Batman is Batman and Wonder Woman remains the most exciting thing about pretty much the entire DCEU, and over on the far right there we’ve got Jason Momoa brooding as Aquaman, because apparently that’s the angle you take with Aquaman – you turn him into a waterborne Conan and let Ben Affleck crack the occasional “talks to fish” joke at him.

In the middle, though, that’s where things get interesting. And by “interesting we mean” troubling as all hell. Look at Ray Fisher as Cyborg and Ezra Miller as The Flash. Think about the myriad decisions that led us to this point: the concept art, the sculpted maquettes, the pre-viz, the costume trials. Imagine how many people had to sign off on the design process to arrive at this: a Bayformers cosplayer and a bondage Power Ranger.

They’re ugly, is what we’re saying. Busy, awkward, over-designed, ur-examples of all that is broken and dumb in modern production design. And there they are, front and centre of the latest marketing salvo. Jesus, if this is what they want to show off, what are they hiding from us?

Justice League hits cinemas on November 16, 2017.

 

 

 

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