by Anthony O'Connor
Worth: $13.00
FilmInk rates movies out of $20 — the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth
Cast:
Kaitlyn Santa Juana, Teo Briones, Richard Harmon, Owen Patrick Joyner, Rya Kihlstedt, Gabrielle Rose, Tony Todd
Intro:
… a big, glib, splattery, nihilistically funny time at the movies …
It’s been 14 years since the last Final Destination flick, 2011’s Final Destination 5, and honestly, it’s hard to imagine a more perfect send-off for the franchise. The ending twist that recontextualised the whole movie, and cleverly referenced the 2000 original, was a great way to tie a bow on that caper and move on.
However, in this year of 2025, no franchise, however obscure, remains dead for long, hence Final Destination: Bloodlines.
It’s always an interesting turning point when horror movie franchises stop numbering their films and start using colons. Hellraiser: Inferno, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation and Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare are all examples of this trend, and honestly, there’s not a lot to love in that motley crew. Final Destination: Bloodlines is a better colon film than that little lot, with enough charms to recommend it, although it’s perhaps a little unambitious.
Final Destination: Bloodlines starts in 1968 at the grand opening of the Sky View Restaurant Tower, an eatery apparently constructed of chewing gum and cardboard. Naturally, the event doesn’t go to plan and after a torrent of digital gore spatters the screen, we cut to the present day, where the film’s true protagonist Stefani Reyes (Kaitlyn Santa Juana) is experiencing her estranged nan’s memory as a vivid nightmare. Stef decides to investigate this grisly phenomenon and is quickly told the grim truth that her entire extended family is on Death’s shit list and the reaper is about to come a-calling.
After dropping this slightly chewier than usual premise, Bloodlines swiftly switches back to business as usual. That is: spectacular, albeit cartoony, death sequences that play out like gory Rube Goldberg machines. Heads are splattered, bodies impaled and limbs cleft with gleeful impunity. Some of the kills are genuinely creative (there’s a sequence in a hospital that is as macabrely ingenious as it is physically unlikely) but it’s all formulaic and rote for this series.
Basically, since the 2000 original, the Final Destination movies have been playing the same trick over and over. And hey, it’s a pretty good trick! Parts 1, 2 and 5 are loads of fun, but it does feel like a 14-year gap between movies could have been a great excuse to work a fresh angle for this 2025 entry.
Performances are solid but forgettable, with the exception of Richard Harmon who is hilarious as Stef’s piercing-obsessed cousin, Erik, and a visibly ill Tony Todd who delivers one last turn as William Bludworth with the sly wit and gravitas that only he could manage (you are much missed, Mr. Todd, rest in peace). The direction from Zach Lipovsky and Adam Stein is zappy and energetic, and overall, the film is… fine.
It won’t change your life and you’re unlikely to remember it two weeks from now, but Final Destination: Bloodlines is certainly a big, glib, splattery, nihilistically funny time at the movies if you can tamp down any sense of empathy for the two dimensional characters getting shit mixed or the nagging sense that you’ve seen all of this several times before.
