By Marta Jary & Erin Free
Based on a novel by Nancy Kincaid, My Life Without Me is a bittersweet fable following the last weeks in the life of a young mother who discovers she has untreatable cancer. Ann (Sarah Polley) is a stoic and grimly level-headed 23-year-old with two daughters, who lives in a trailer with her loyal but rarely employed husband (Scott Speedman). By night she works as a cleaner, and by day she cares for the impoverished but deeply loving family she formed in her teens. When she discovers she has just weeks to live, Ann keeps her illness secret and makes a list of desires that she wishes to fulfil before her death.
There is no grand glimmer of hope for the future of these characters. Even Ann’s perfunctory last wishes fall by the wayside as she takes imperfect pleasure in everyday indulgences: a slice of cake, ginger candy, getting her nails done. Her most ferocious outlet is her affair with an aloof stranger (Mark Ruffalo) whose tender desperation rekindles the illicit excitement of falling in love.
The suburban truth that no wondrous occurrence will mark our passing may be too depressing for some to bear, but there is a melancholy realness to the quiet unwinding of Ann’s unremarkable life. This is a film about giving in to inevitability, and thus an incredible sadness permeates its every rain-logged frame. But in its stark, non-abrasive honesty, My Life Without Me is delicately touching.
And Sarah Polley’s performance is typically stunning. “Ann is in every scene, so I couldn’t make a mistake casting her,” the film’s director, Isabel Coixet, told FilmInk in 2003. “In Los Angeles, I saw every actress between the ages of 18 and 28. There were very good actresses – some very well-known and some unknown – but there was always something lacking. Then it was suggested that I send the script to Sarah. The moment that she was in front of me, I thought, ‘Yeah. She’s Ann.’ I had the feeling she was perfect. Sarah has an inner light. As Ann, she could be a heavenly creature, but be down to earth; she can mop the floor and write poetry at the same time; and she can be ugly, sexy, tough, sweet, and everything all at once. She is an amazing actress. From the beginning, we agreed on almost everything about Ann: the way she walks, the way she dresses, and so on. She got so into the character that when she and Scot Speedman took out the two girls who play their daughters, people assumed that they were a real family.”
Also in Sarah Polley’s on-screen family is Blondie frontwoman and today’s birthday girl, Deborah Harry, a seasoned rocker and occasional actress (Videodrome, Heavy, Cop Land, Hairspray) who gives a wonderfully lived-in performance as Ann’s mother. “Deborah Harry was, surprisingly, one of the most normal people that I’ve ever met,” Sarah Polley told FilmInk in 2003. “It’s strange that someone who is an icon can be like your next door neighbour. There’s just nothing about her that indicates she is a rock music legend and has had an extraordinary life. She’s the loveliest, easiest person to be around.”
