By Travis Johnson

Sometimes all it takes is a dream, some courage, and a German distributor locking in the distro rights for a 2018 release. Actually, it’s mostly the latter in this case, with Splendid Film handling The Expendables 4 for German-speaking Europe, with other territories expected to fall in line soonish. There’s a joke about why more of Europe isn’t speaking German these days, but it’s been a long day.

Anyway, another Expendables movie! To be fair, these flicks have always looked better on paper than in the cold light of day, but it’s hard to hate on ’em – everyone involved seems to be having way too much fun. Certainly, the third film, directed by Australian Patrick Hughes, stands out as a bit of a red-headed stepchild and was loved by approximately no one, but surely there’s life in this old dog of a franchise that is literally about old dogs still having life in them.

If you’re not down, the three Expendables movies follow the adventures of a mercenary team led by Sylvester Stallone’s Barney Ross, whose ranks are filled by the kind of action heroes that middle aged dudes will tell you they just don’t make any more, dammit. Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Terry Crews, Randy Couture and Jet Li are frequent flyers, with Wesley Snipes, Bruce Willis, Antonio Banderas, Mickey Rourke, Kelsey Grammer, and even grumpy ol’ Harrison Ford jumping on board once in a while. yes, they do stretch the definition of “action hero” a bit, but we forgive them because they got Jean-Claude Van Damme to play the bad guy in the second film, and Mel Gibson in the third. This incipient fourth outing is apparently the last, but considering the first film was positioned as a last hurrah for ’80s action excess, that’s kind of meaningless.

The real fun begins now, of course, as we speculate wildly about who will join the ranks of Stallone’s Dadsploitation All Stars. Will newly minted Russian citizen Steven Seagal finally come to the party? Will Jackie Chan? How about Sho Kosugi? Is Michael Dudikoff still alive? Is it time for Scott Adkins to step up? We shall see.

  • Jonathan
    21 December 2016 at 4:29 pm

    More like Expendables 2, without punching the audience in the d*ck with each others one liners.

    Bring on Kurt Russell baby.

Leave a Reply