Worth: $14.00
FilmInk rates movies out of $20 — the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth
Cast:
Greg Sestero, Vernon Wells, Dave Sheridan, Ruby Setnik, Lori Richardson
Intro:
… an enjoyable and nihilistic way to spend a December evening ...
Put your ‘Die Hard is a Christmas Movie’ arguments to bed, because if December means anything, then the one true ritual of this festive season is Christmas themed horror.
From A Christmas Carol to Black Christmas to Deadly Games, these are movies with the sole goal of cutting through the saccharine nature of the holidays and giving us a good scare after too much pudding.
The most recent movie to show off its horror credentials is The Christmas Tapes, directed and written by Robert Livings and Randy Nundlall Jnr (Infrared), an anthology movie that shares a similar structure to the V/H/S movies.
Things start off pleasantly enough, almost Lifetime movie like, as a family take in a stranger in need on a cold December eve. Only going by the name of The Owner’s Manual in the credits, the stranger, played by Greg Sestero (The Room), repays the family’s kindness by forcing them at gunpoint to watch a series of twisted VHS tapes.
This acts as the narrative that binds the tales together, as Sestero hollers and scream at eldest daughter, Rachel (Ruby Setnik) to appreciate the finer aspects of cinema. Sort of like engaging with the darker areas of Film Twitter then.
Sestero is clearly having a blast as Jeffrey Dahmer in a Christmas sweater, showing the same bloody-minded enthusiasm he did in Dude Bro Party Massacre III. You can practically taste his disgust when Rachel asks him who Fellini is.
And what of the tales themselves? Well, it’s a shame to say that although Livings and Nundlall have ensured that each tale is its own beast in terms of style and tone, they don’t all work. Perhaps the weakest is Untitled, a surreal tale about mind control technology that sits up there with Ti West’s entry in ABCs of Death as most superfluous to requirements. Even Sestero’s character seems to give it the side eye when we’re back with his family of hostages.
Equally, the film’s final story, centred on cantankerous ghost hunter, Paranormal Perry (Dave Sheridan, The Curse of Bridge Hollow) is a fun Paranormal Activity parody that could do with less improvising and a tighter running time to sell what it’s trying to do.
The strongest entry is The Christmas Gifts starring Australia’s own Vernon Wells (Mad Max 2, Commando). He plays a man claiming to be the real Santa Claus who, along with his wife Mrs Claus (Lori Richardson), sets about torturing a man who has ended up on their naughty list. Didn’t want to know that Mrs Claus has a foot fetish? Well, too late. Now you do. For sure, a murderous Santa Claus is nothing new. Heck, both Violent Night and Christmas Bloody Christmas came out this year alone. However, Wells and Richardson’s performances are creepy and unhinged enough to really get under your skin.
Overall, while there are more satsumas than PS5s in this cinematic Christmas stocking, The Christmas Tapes is an enjoyable and nihilistic way to spend a December evening.
