Worth: $6.50
FilmInk rates movies out of $20 — the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth
Cast:
Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon, Finn Wolfhard, Mckenna Grace, Kumail Nanjiani, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Janine Melnitz
Intro:
... artless, soulless, joyless concoction of corporate vapidity.
Is there a more inconsistent mainstream movie series than Ghostbusters? Most franchises manage to have two or three good films in a row before the rot sets in, but aside from the excellent 1984 original, this tale of spectre slappin’ chums has been deeply, seismically inconsistent. First sequel off the rank was Ghostbusters 2 in 1989, and while it kept kids who were hopped up on red cordial distracted, it was a dramatic drop in quality both in terms of story and humour. The controversial all-female reboot followed in 2016 and it certainly had its moments but ultimately felt inessential, plus it led to a massive online dummy spit from fans of the original. Legacy sequel, Ghostbusters: Afterlife dropped in 2021, and while some were put off by the use of real-life deceased actors returning via CGI (which will never not be weird and tacky), it certainly managed a story with heart and a tone that skewed close to what fans were looking for. Which brings us to Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire and we honestly can’t imagine anyone stanning for this dull, non-event.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire returns us to the iconic New York firehouse, where the Spengler family are now living. Gary (Paul Rudd) and Callie (Carrie Coon) are happy together, Trevor (Finn Wolfhard) has turned 18 and is looking to prove himself, and Phoebe (Mckenna Grace) is 15 and consequently acting like an arsehole. Elsewhere, retired Dr. Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) comes across a spherical MacGuffin that appears to be chockers with evil and has the ability to freeze stuff. Oh, and Dr. Winston Zeddemore (Ernie Hudson) is looking to expand the Ghostbusters’ scope of operations, with the assistance of comedian James Acaster for some reason. If you’re thinking “crikey, that sounds like a lot of disparate yet strangely inert subplots,” then pat yourself on the back because, yep, that’s exactly the case. Sadly, even when the story eventually gets moving, it’s still a bit of a shocker.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is, if nothing else, consistent. From the flat, dull opening chase sequence, you understand immediately that you’re about to watch something mediocre; an entire film that feels like it was shot by a sleepy second unit director. Because this time, director Jason Reitman has been replaced with Gil Kenan, who gave us the 2015 Poltergeist remake you completely forgot existed. There’s not a second of this movie that feels alive or motivated by anything other than the need to produce more content to sell cinema tickets and merchandise. The actors try their best, but this is a film where Paul Rudd and Carrie Coon – objectively charming and delightful people – just feel superfluous. Dan Aykroyd does the best of the legacy cast, grinning with eager enthusiasm that no one else seems to feel, but Bill Murray looks tired and confused and Ernie Hudson is mainly an exposition delivery system. Newcomer to the franchise Kumail Nanjiani does his best as a person connected to the MacGuffin but again, his work is lost in a morass of middling-at-best quality. And don’t even ask about that subplot that involves one of the characters getting catfished by a quasi-romantic relationship with a ghost.
Just… just don’t.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is what happens when a franchise limps on for no other reason than to squeeze a few dollars more out of nostalgia-afflicted audience members. It’s overly reverent of the original two films, but seems to fundamentally misunderstand the anarchic spirit and sense of irreverence that made those flicks work. Its few interesting ideas (like the subjective experience of being a ghost) are swiftly abandoned in favour of one of the dullest, least memorable villains in years and the overall experience is so profoundly listless and bland you’ll likely find yourself wondering just what the hell went wrong.
Put it this way, Madame Web may be this year’s cinematic punching bag, but that film is Citizen-flippin’-Kane compared to this artless, soulless, joyless concoction of corporate vapidity.
