How did you become involved in Conscious, and what attracted you to the script?
I was approached by Neeta Gosal, the writer and producer, late last year via FB. We’d met eight years earlier at QUT, she was studying film and I was studying acting. She sent me a message saying “Hey, I think I have a role for you, I’ll send you through a script when it’s finished” and I honestly didn’t really think much about that until she contacted me again with a script. I got to page 18, called up an actor mate who is way more experienced and zen in these matters than I, asked with way too much enthusiasm, “I’ve got this script, this character is f-ing amazing, how do I convince them I’m the only person for this job” and his advice was “Tone down the desperation and breathe”. Ignoring that advice, as I tend to all good advice, I spent the night neurotically obsessing over what I was going to say in the Skype meeting the next morning. When Neeta called the first thing she said was, “Do you want the part? I wrote it for you.”- so absolutely no need to stress about anything.
Can you tell us a little about your character, Clementine? You mentioned it was a dream to play a rich, female, and queer character. How important is her sexual and gender identity to the role?
Clem, as she’s now affectionately called on set, is an interesting one. She’s based loosely on a woman who has a condition known as a Urbach-Wiethe disease. One of the really unfortunate manifestations of the illness is the calcification of parts of the brain, in her case, the amygdala. This means, she’s almost completely incapable of experiencing fear, storing memories with strong emotions attached, and reading the facial expressions of others. The great thing about this she has this amazing curiosity about things, but the lack of fear leaves her incredibly vulnerable. She’s also really reactive and mercurial in mood – volatile even, which I love to play with. I feel incredibly alive in her – there are no boundaries, there are no rules, emotionally it’s so pure, even if her intentions are ambiguous. What I love about her sexuality is that it’s not a thing. She’s a main character in a feature and she’s a lesbian and it’s not about her being a lesbian. It’s great. I think it shows real progress in how sexuality is portrayed on screen. You can have a queer character and they’re defined by who they are as a whole, not just by who they’re attracted to. Her sexuality is important because she’s so in the moment, that she has the innate sensuality through her, everything hits her at once, because the she has no real ability to relive it once the moment has passed.
How much of the character was on the page, and how much were you able to bring to the character in terms of her development?
Neeta had put so much work into character arcs in the script- there was a lot there. I started my journey with the script, spent a lot of time researching her condition, what parts of the brain impact on which parts of our personality and then I spent a weeks writing her life story for me. It was really important to me, with the boundaries of her condition and her journey in the script, that I was incredibly specific about where she came from and why she does the things she does- it couldn’t just be, “Oh well she has this illness, so that’s why” because she is so much more than that. And that was in the script, it was just a matter of layering it and playing with it as much as possible. Luis Bran, the director, has been great in pushing things even further.
How was the shoot and what do you feel was the most challenging part of the role?
I’m going to throw out the world’s biggest micro budget cliche here, but it’s been really f-ing challenging. The story and the characters are really complex and you’re constantly fighting time to make that as real as possible, fortunately Luis and the crew are so incredible that the process is a little smoother. The hardest part for me has been letting go and trusting that the months of work is there. I absolutely can’t be overthinking with her, she’s smart but reactive, everything has to be spontaneous – it’s a good lesson in general for acting, but with her it’s so extreme. The challenging part has been going to some pretty dark places. I’ve struggled with mental illness a lot throughout my life and there have been moments with some scenes where I’ve thought, “I’ve been close to here before and I’m really scared I won’t come back or that people aren’t going to respect or like me if they know that’s a big part of me” That’s been the most challenging thing. It’s also been the most liberating thing because I now know that a) I’m fine, I’m safe and supported, and b) I have everyone’s respect and trust after going there.
You’ve also starred in the queer web series Staring From… Now. Do you have a passion for bringing LGBTI characters to the screen? And can you imagine a series like Starting From…Now ever getting screen time on television?
Incredibly passionate. Film, art, literature – our culture as a whole is an important part of how people see themselves as a part of society as a whole. Rich and wide representation of all facets of the human experience, not only gives people a sense of place in the world, I believe it saves lives. It educates. It’s 2016 and I’m getting emails from people saying “Thank you” for the show and sharing their stories – young women whose parents still try to beat “the gay” out of them. That’s why normal representation of queer life is so important. It’s normalises their experiences and hopefully normalises their sexuality for the people around them. That’s not to say that stories about struggling with sexual identity aren’t important, because that’s a very real part of identifying and coming to terms with a sexuality or experience that’s out of the norm, but it’s also important to show that there are other aspects to a person’s life.
I’m so proud that Julie Kalceff and Rosie Lourde were able to get SFN to SBS2 this year. So yes, I see screen time, but we need more of it. Much more.
With acclaimed shows like Transparent, Girls, Broad City, Looking, Orange Is The New Black and Australia’s Please Like Me it definitely feels like representation of LGBT characters is changing. Do you feel that’s the case and are there particular shows or characters you’re a fan of? Do you feel Australian film and television is lagging behind?
Globally, definitely, and it’s great. Having said that, I think Australia lacks in diversity in general. Outside of SBS and ABC it still seems so white, middle class and frighteningly conservative. It’s infuriating. So infuriating I don’t own a television – I watch everything online now. We have such a rich culture in Australia, and amazing writers, directors and actors who are capable of bringing to life so much more than what they’re given the opportunity to. I think it’s a waste. It’s also why I prefer to work on more lower budget things- they’re able to take more risks (having said that if anyone would like to pay me more I won’t say no, I could probably use a trip to the dentist).
Broad City all the way, baby. I’ve spent so many hours replaying scenes in my head from that show, just browsing the aisles of the grocery store, pissing myself with laughter muttering “Arc de triumph”. I also really like Carly and Alex, which is an online LGBT series well worth checking out, and of course Please Like Me, but not the day before Centrelink because the episode titles make me hungry as.
You’ve written, produced and acted. Can you tell us a little bit about your own creative ambitions?
I love stories. My Grandad was the best story I’ve ever met. It’s because of him I’m obsessed with sharing them. I figure if I can make other people’s lives half as rich by bringing them stories as he did mine, than I’m doing okay in the world. Acting is my first passion, this shoot has been really full on and I still wake up every morning thinking I’m the luckiest person on the planet. I write and produce to give myself and hopefully other people more opportunities to do what they love – baby steps. It’s probably career suicide but I really want to create work that really pushes conservative storytelling without necessarily stressing about what rating it’s going to get at the end of the day. I’m co-producing and acting in a feature, directed by Harriet McKern, called Insert Word. It’s an unfiltered look at a woman who is trying to maintain the facade of a well functioning life whilst dealing with an alcohol and sexting addiction. The script is heartbreaking and funny, but written with so much compassion and insight. The kind of story that as an artist sends electricity through your body. These are the kind of things I want to create.
Conscious will be released on October 31, 2016.
