by Gill Pringle at the 3rd annual Red Sea International Film Festival in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Although Tarsem Singh would leave his Punjab family home as a young man to study in California and pursue a career in Hollywood, he would never forget hearing about a young Indian man and his Canadian-Indian bride, whose marriage – without the approval of the bride’s family – resulted in bloody tragedy.
For more than two decades Singh was haunted by the real life – and death – story of Jaswinder “Jassi” Kaur Sidhu, a Punjabi Canadian woman who incurred her family’s wrath when she fell in love with and married a working-class man.
Traveling from her home in Canada’s British Columbia to be with her new husband in Punjab in 2000, the bubbly beautician was instead kidnapped, tortured and killed on orders of her mother, Malkiat Kaur Sidhu, and uncle, Surjit Singh Badesha, as punishment for her secret marriage.
A grotesque Romeo & Juliet story, if you will – Jassi’s so-called honour killing is something unfathomable in the 21st century.
“The thing I remember most when I first heard this story was this telephone call – because the actual honour killing phenomena in itself is nothing unique. But when I heard about this conversation on a telephone, that’s what made the whole film for me,” he says referring to the stinging phone conversation between Jassi’s mother and her kidnappers, and his resulting new film Dear Jassi. “I wanted to reverse engineer from that phone call. If this is the last scene of a film, how do I make a film in which this is even understandable? How can you even think a thing like this could even happen?” he asks.
At the time, 23 years ago, Singh spoke to his brother back in India, suggesting that they either make the film immediately. Fast forward to the beginning of this year when he was asked if he’d like to make a commercial film in India, he began negotiating, agreeing to that project if he would be allowed to make this small film first.
“So, after waiting 23 years, we made it literally in a few months, and then I edited it in 48 hours and that’s the film you have,” he says of Dear Jassi, which relies purely on its narrative to propel the story of two doomed lovers.
If Dear Jassi drew gasps of horror when it premiered at TIFF a couple of months earlier, then when it screened this week in Saudi Arabia – a country where arranged marriages still thrive – the shock was still palpable among the audience. The film went on to pick the Silver Yusr for Best Feature Film at the Red Sea International Film Festival.
Admittedly, Singh’s favourite audiences so far have been with his fellow countrymen. “It’s been phenomenal when I see it with Indians because there’s a lot of stuff that requires too much explanation when I show it to other audiences. But the Indians get every beat, even if it isn’t what they’re used to seeing in cinema and the shock is more unbearable to them than it is for a western audience,” suggests the director who has made expensive Hollywood films like The Fall, Immortals and Mirror, Mirror as well as enjoying a prolific career directing music videos and commercials.
But Dear Jassi is so heavy on the heart that it’s almost too much to even think about, so we break our conversation with a moment of levity as he dishes on his own family’s expectations of arranging a marriage for him as a younger man.
“All my sisters and brother had arranged marriages. And when they’ve asked me about it, I just say, ‘Look, I’d rather get it 10 times wrong my way – then get it once right your way. So, no!’
“They knew I was never going to agree to an arranged marriage and gave up on me long ago which was wonderful. They just said: ‘This one’s a lost cause. He’s a different kind of record, let him play’.”
What ambitions did Singh’s family have for their young son? “Naturally, they wanted me to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer or asshole – because that’s the only other category they have,” he grins.
“So, when I decided that I wouldn’t do any of those, I was written off, which really helped.”
Returning to Dear Jassi and its spine-chilling phone call, he says, “That phone call is more offensive to people than anything else, like ‘how could you ever justify that?’
“But I think it’s when the modern stuff catches up with one of the most primitive cultural things that you can think of – that’s what’s shocking to people. To see a mother do the most horrendous thing possible. Nobody is prepared for that.”
Making their big-screen debut, Pavia Sidhu and Yugam Sood are instantly likeable as the doomed couple whose families are from different classes of Punjabi society, and it’s through their innocence and naïveté that Singh’s story tugs at our heartstrings.
That being said, Dear Jassi is so disturbing that you leave the film hoping that the real life killing of Jasswinder was something of a one-off – although Singh quickly disabuses such a notion.
Yes, the culture of arranged marriages has become less intense, he concedes. “But that’s not what this film is about. This stuff is below the radar – and it has been happening for eons, so it’s not something that’s historical. It happens all the time, much more often than anybody would like to admit,” he says.
