by Anthony O'Connor
Worth: Discs: 2, The Film: 3/5, The Extras: 3.5/5, Overall: 6.5/10
FilmInk rates movies out of $20 — the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth
Cast:
Brigitte Nielsen, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sandahl Bergman, Paul Smith, Ernie Reyes, Jr., Ronald Lacey, Janet Agren
Intro:
Imperfect, silly, pretty, Red Sonja is messy as hell but not without her charms.
The Film:
Towards the back end of the 1980s, the sword and sandal gold rush that began with 1982’s surprise hit Conan the Barbarian was on the wane. Numerous knockoffs of varying quality like Beastmaster, Sword and the Sorcerer and the Deathstalker series had taken their bite of the apple, but the fruit was beginning to sour. Hell, even Conan himself offered 1984’s disappointing follow-up, Conan the Destroyer. However, it wasn’t until 1985 when the quirky subgenre finally died in the arse, and the nail in its coffin appeared in the form of a sexy ranga who struggled with dialogue, also known as Red Sonja.
On paper, it should have worked. After all, Red Sonja was based on a character by Conan creator Robert E. Howard and starred a then very in demand Arnold Schwarzenegger. It also featured the debut of deadset stunner Brigitte Nielsen, who absolutely looked the part. Plus, directorial duties went to Richard Fleischer, who gave us the excellent Soylent Green (1973) and the aforementioned just okay Conan the Destroyer (1984). What could possibly go wrong?
Everything, dear reader, it would be an absolute shitfight. But let’s talk about the story first.
Red Sonja tells the tale of Sonja (Brigitte Nielsen), who is gang-raped and left for dead after rejecting the advances of Queen Gedren (Sandahl Bergman). Sonja beseeches the heavens for the power to get revenge and is given the ability to wield sharpened metal weapons with much alacrity by an obliging spirit. Nice! Sonja then trains and trains, levelling up her combat skills until she’s ready to take her bloody revenge.
Meanwhile, Gedren continues to be a deadset moll, flogging a fancy magical McGuffin known as the Talisman and mortally wounding Sonja’s sister, Varna (Janet Agren). Sonja is finally ready to kick the mean queen in the slats, even if she’s rather less enthusiastic about the help offered by musclebound hero Lord Kalidor (Arnold Schwarzenegger). Will Sonja get her revenge? Will she stop Gedren before the mad sheila ruins the landscape and tanks property values with the Talisman? And will she ever learn to trust men again?
None of the answers will surprise you.
So, the question is: does Red Sonja deserve its lousy reputation for being a stinker? Yes and no. On the one hand, this is a really good looking film, shot on location and striking in its art design, and benefits from the 4K treatment. Also, the score is from none other than Ennio Morricone and it’s bloody good as always from the much-missed maestro. Oh, and Arnie is… fine as offbrand Conan substitute Lord Kalidor. Everything else is, uh, a little dicey.
The biggest mistake that the film makes is casting Brigitte Nielsen in the lead. She’s a striking woman, and a fantastic model, but she was also cast just eight weeks before shooting, which is hardly enough time to train someone how to fight and, you know, act. The resulting performance is rough. Gal Gadot cops a lot of shit for her wooden line delivery, but crikey, she’s like Meryl Streep times fifty compared to some of the clangers Nielsen drops. Some of the blame goes to her for sure, but a large portion also needs to be delivered to the producers, who thought casting a completely inexperienced 21-year-old to head up their big budget fantasy epic was a good idea.
Lead performance aside, though, the film is just limp. There are striking moments and gorgeous sets and costumes, but the whole thing feels lacklustre and tonally inconsistent, aimed for both kids and grimdark fantasy fans somehow, and ultimately appealing to neither.
Arnie reckons it’s his worst film, and that he had a miserable time on set, but he also had a steamy affair with Nielsen, so we suspect there were some highlights. For everyone else, however, Red Sonja is a beautifully shot misfire that works as a kind of cautionary tale and cinematic low water mark that shows when this brief revival of epic fantasy went the way of all flesh.
The Extras:
An odd little grab bag of extras here for a movie that itself is a bit of a mess. There are zero commentaries, because presumably no one wanted to natter about the movie. There are, however, quite a few featurettes of varying relevance.
There’s Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Man Who Raised Hollywood – a featurette that is pure hagiography for ol’ mate Arnie, Red Sonja vs Kalidor: The Making of a Misunderstanding – wherein assistant director Michel Ferry gives the goss on how much of a shambles the production was and how Arnold deadset hated having his role expanded. It paints quite the picture of a movie in peril, even though Ferry himself seemed to have a good time.
There’s also the full length feature doco, Renato Casaro: The Last Movie Painter, which is a lovely look at one of the greatest poster artists ever, whose work you certainly have enjoyed if your lower back and/or cholesterol are giving you trouble these days. Its inclusion, while welcome, might seem a tad odd as Casaro’s poster art for Red Sonja is great but he was otherwise not really involved in the production. However, he actually did some brand new work for the 4K restoration before his untimely death in 2025. Vale, legend.
Best in show, however, goes to Richard Fleischer: Souvenirs (Memories), a surprisingly chonky interview with the director as he reflects on a life in film, touching on many of his works over the years. Fleischer sadly died in 2006, but he left behind a strong, underrated back catalogue for future discovery, even if Red Sonja is far from his finest work.
The whole package comes in a fancy lenticular hardcase with a big arse poster and the actual discs housed in a tasty steelbook.
The Verdict:
Red Sonja is not a good film, but those who have a nostalgic childhood fondness for it will definitely appreciate the boutique treatment it’s given here. And if you’re the sort of person who knows many of the battle sounds from the movie were sampled in the Commodore 64 and Amiga game Barbarian, you’re exactly the type of audience for this gear.
Imperfect, silly, pretty, Red Sonja is messy as hell but not without her charms.
