by Anthony O'Connor
Worth: Discs: 2, The Film: 3.5/5, The Extras: 4/5, Overall: 7.5/10
FilmInk rates movies out of $20 — the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth
Cast:
Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott, Ben Gazzara, Kevin Tighe, Marshall Teague, Keith David, Julie Michaels
Intro:
… good looking, noisy, enjoyable, a touch toey and never, ever boring.
The Film:
You don’t get many movies about bouncers. Oh sure, there are plenty of bouncers who became film actors – Vin Diesel, Dave Bautista, Dolph Lundgren and even fool-pitying Mr. T – but the topic of their former profession is rarely the focus. That’s probably because ejecting stroppy pissheads from sticky dive bars for two hours isn’t exactly scintillating cinema, not to mention the fact that many members of the profession are a bunch of sadistic, ‘roid-addled bullies. In the world of Road House (1989), however, bouncing is a very different sort of profession. The Patrick Swayze-starrer exists in a pleasing fantasy land where being a bouncer is sort of like becoming a knight-errant, where a loyal steed is replaced by a flash-looking Benz and swords swapped out for good old fashioned kicky-punchy.
Road House is the story of James Dalton (Patrick Swayze), the head bouncer or “cooler” at a hip New York club. That is until businessman Frank Tilghman (Kevin Tighe) lures Dalton away to the exciting sights and sounds of rural Jasper, Missouri, where Franky needs someone to help out at his absolute bloodhouse of a bar, the Double Deuce. Dalton, boasting a degree in philosophy (!) and a PhD in arse-kickery, accepts the challenge and leaves the bustling metropolis to live in a barn and discipline grogged up rednecks. What Dalton doesn’t count on is that the town lives under the thumb of local magnate/crime lord Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara), who takes an instant dislike to our hero and the pair seem destined for a bloody confrontation. Can Dalton turn the Double Deuce into something decent? Will he end Wesley’s reign of terror? And, perhaps most importantly, will he get to pash hot local sawbones Dr. Elizabeth Clay (Kelly Lynch) behind the bike sheds? The answers won’t surprise you, but they’re pretty bloody entertaining nonetheless.
At its core, Road House is a fundamentally strange movie. First up, it looks terrific, director Rowdy Herrington frames this beautifully with able help from cinematographer Dean Cundey (who you’ll know from The Thing and the Back to the Future trilogy) and the cast – which also includes Sam Elliott, Kathleen Wilhoite and Keith David! – all do excellent work. Also, Swayze himself is a fascinating physical specimen. He has a dancer’s sense of grace and movement, an action star’s deadpan quips and a quintessentially 1980s mullet that really ties his whole look together. This is a slick, fast paced, music-filled, rowdy party of a movie that is so much fun you’ll almost forget how insanely stupid the whole thing is. This is a film that exists in a bizarre alternate reality where bouncers are nomadic warrior-poets who right wrongs and save lives, instead of calling you homophobic slurs and destroying your phone (as happened to your humble scribe back in 2013. Thanks, Coogee Bay Hotel!) Also, the escalation from drunk-tossing to throat ripping and straight up murder is absolutely insane, makes zero logical sense and yet is wonderfully, cackle-inducingly entertaining. And if a line of dialogue like “Pain don’t hurt” can’t make you smile, you probably need to get a soul transplant, you joyless moll.
Is Road House a good movie? Lord, no! But it’s good looking, noisy, enjoyable, a touch toey (the dance sequence from Julie Michaels remains hotter than a Balrog’s ballsack) and never, ever boring. It also inspired one terrible direct-to-video sequel in 2006, a tepid 2024 remake that included “acting” from Conor McGregor (oof) which itself is getting a sequel, and probably one of the funnier recurring bits on Family Guy. Apparently, the film’s legacy is as enduring as one of Dalton’s oddly balletic kicks to the scone.
The Extras:
A pretty solid roster of extras and special features here. There are two audio commentaries, one with director Rowdy Herrington (which is such a great name) and one with the hilarious tag team of writer/director/Road House enjoyer Kevin Smith and producer Scott Mosier. The latter plays out a bit like one of Smith’s many podcasts, which will be a treat for fans and probably a bit nightmarish for everyone else.
There’s a feature length doco, I Thought You’d Be Bigger: The Making of Road House, which is quite exhaustive and confirms the fact that, yes, the cast and crew knew how silly this thing was, but they played it straight regardless. There are some shorter featurettes like A Conversation with Director Rowdy Herrington, Pain Don’t Hurt – a fun piece about the many stunts in the flick, Pretty Good for a Blind White Boy – which is all about the music and a few vintage featurettes with on set footage and various bits and bobs.
Best in the show is Remembering Patrick Swayze, which is a heartfelt and actually quite moving look back at an actor who sadly died of pancreatic cancer in 2009. His wife of 34 years, Lisa Niemi, is particularly eloquent about the bloke, his personality and his enduring appeal, which is a lovely thing to see.
The whole caper comes bundled with a large movie poster and contained in a rad-looking steelbook, if you like that sort of thing. And, honestly, if you’re picking up Road House? You probably do.
The Verdict:
Road House is a profoundly silly movie. Goofier than a dancing monkey wearing its wee trousers atop its head. And yet, for all that, it’s genuinely entertaining from start to finish. An absurd, bizarre and wonderfully stupid epic with sexy girls, violent men and kicks providing an elegant solution for all life’s myriad problems.
Looking better than ever in 4K form, housed in a beautiful steelbook, Road House will provide a rowdy, rollicking reason to enjoy some fermented alcoholic beverages with like-minded friends as you all eject your sense of disbelief from the premises.
