by Louise Alston
Friday 8am
On a quiet school day in Brisbane, I lie in bed looking at my phone, getting ready to face the day. I use my gig job app to confirm 16 hours of babysitting bookings.
Friday 9am
David Latt from Asylum studios texts me and asks if I’m still in Los Angeles. He has a 6-day feature looking for a director and it’s shooting on Saturday. Los Angeles Saturday is in 36 hours. My dopamine spikes, I ask him to send the script. Maybe I am in Los Angeles?
The Asylum studios is in the fancy end of contemporary low-budget production in Hollywood. Despite break-out hits like Sharknado, it’s mostly known for one location disaster movies and “mockbusters” (Blockbuster knock offs) shot in a week. If you ever went to watch Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies and wonder if it was supposed to be Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, you’ll know what I mean.
In 2022, I was offered an 11 day tv movie being shot at The Asylum for Reel One which ended up being called WEDDING IN THE HAMPTONS With ingenuity, the creativity of producer Eva Ceja and Aussie DP, Pete Borosh plus lots of library footage, we were kind of able to make drought-stricken Los Angeles “look like the Hamptons”. I was immediately asked back to make THREE DATES TO FOREVER, which was mostly shot in The Asylum’s Burbank car park.
Friday 11.30am
I sit in the car outside my 12pm babysitting booking and scan the script. It’s a M3GAN knock off called SOULMATES. The M3GAN trilogy is supposed to wrap up with a film called ‘SOULM8’, so… homage, I guess?
The pitch: an AI android becomes obsessed with its owner after it absorbs the consciousness of his dead wife, then tries to kill his new girlfriend and others. It is a sci fi horror thriller with boobs and blood. I text producer Latt to say that I’m excited to take the job, but I will be out of contact for 13 hours, landing in LA on Friday at 4pm.
Latt: “So you’re not in LA?”.
Me: “No, but I will be at 4pm tomorrow.”
Friday 8pm (Australia time)
I board the plane in Brisbane and happily discover wifi. I meet the production manager/ producer, Johnnie Bender via text. I’m asked to communicate my design vision to the designer, but no pictures can be effectively sent over the pacific. I’m asked to come up with 2 back up visions just in case the Asylum partners veto my first vision, all this via text.
The vision: I’m after millennial grey theme with Metropolis (1926) as an anchor.
I (slowly) receive a head shot of the actress playing Andi, the android. Hailey Mauk looks like a young Anjelica Huston. She’s gorgeous and gothy with an unearthly look. Little did I know, she got the part about the time they sent me her head shot. I’d like her to be styled to be sexy and hyper feminine. Something like a Victoria secret model. As a back up vision I say something like a Robert Palmer “Addicted to Love” video clip fembot meets a USSR utilitarian fembot.
I read the script properly over the dark pacific and am happy to find that it is really good! Hopefully, I will be able to shoot enough of it in 6 days to make sense. At 104 pages, that means 17 and a third pages per day. Including several action scenes, a car stunt and three sex scenes.
I ask for the intimacy co-ordinator and nude scenes on the first day, please. This means the actors get them out of the way while they are fresh and full of energy and before they have started to develop any negative feelings towards each other (and the movie) that might make it harder as the days wear on.
I start on a director’s breakdown and get a couple of hours sleep.
Friday 4pm (again)
I land at LAX and am picked up by coordinator, McKenna in her black dodge challenger. The movie has been pushed back by two days. Yay! Now we (kind of) have pre-production.
Johnnie (production manager) says I can sleep in Simi Valley in Latt’s house with his dog-sitting sister. Latt is currently in Canada.
The other option is that I stay close to the production, in Johnnie’s house. I tell him I’m happy to stay close and happy to sleep on a couch. It turns out Johnnie’s house is undergoing a renovation and is largely a construction zone. But there is a couch. He leaves me there alone to do something important. He’s going to sleep at the production office. I’m alone in most of a house in the middle of the San Fernando Valley. What the hell? How did this just happen? Wasn’t I just in bed in Brisbane?
Will I go missing and never be seen again?
Who cares, this is Hollywood!
I have always been terrified of sleeping alone. So, I use double think, my Qantas sleeping mask and jet lag to nod off.
Pre-Production Day 1 – Saturday
A black Nissan Versa appears in the driveway. It’s a car that has been borrowed for me to drive. However, it’s also for sale. If anyone from Facebook marketplace wants to see the car, I have to make it available for them to look at. There are paper mats on the ground to stop it from getting dirty.
I meet Camilio Godoy, DP. He’s from Columbia and, like me, hungry to make movies. He’s made a couple of Asylum films before and knows the parameters of the gig.
I’ve directed Neighbours, so I can do quick schedules and the way I talk about coverage makes him relax. We hit it off immediately.
Johnnie interrupts us in the middle of discussing neo noir lighting to say “This sounds very arty.” I tell him that we are totally making an erotic horror-thriller with boobs and blood. Talking “arty” is how we are going to do it. Don’t be afraid of us film school people.
We do a reccie of the production house. It’s a lovely two-story house with a pool. The production office is already set up there. I meet the owner of the house. As crew start to assemble in his house, he starts to get cold feet so I’m very nice to him.
Johnnie’s house (with my bed couch) is also available to us to shoot in. It has a bigger, posher kitchen and a huge lounge with soaring ceilings (also it’s much less scary in the day). However, I decide that art is war and we must take the high ground. We will stick to one house, one location for maximum flexibility and manoeuvrability.
Designer Colton Kugler has a funeral, so we make some decisions about painting walls without him. The Asylum partners HATE white walls. Something must be done. Johnnie has already bought paint based on my text choices. The walls somehow end up grey with peach contrast. Did I pick that? I think that’s a combination of my main Metropolis concept and my alternative back up picks.
I order fake body parts from the Asylum props store, fake blood vomit, live maggots. I also write up nudity specs.
I continue to do a director’s breakdown while approving costumes (mostly actor’s own clothes).
Camilo and I spend time talking about my director’s breakdown and making shot lists.
Pre-Production Day 2 – Sunday
Designer Colton Kugler is back. He is “fine” with the walls but makes sure the bedroom is grey and oatmeal, not grey and peach. The kitchen benches and back splash get replaced. We have a production meeting at 1pm and I meet the rest of the crew. We have Intimacy, stunts (including a car stunt). 6 days will be…. Um…. A recipe for disaster? The shortest production schedule I’ve ever had for a feature is 9 days plus b roll day with a script that was written to be an indie romcom, not anything resembling a blockbuster. Instructions from The Asylum partners are “make it look like a blockbuster”. What???
On the zoom production meeting, The Asylum partner, David Latt introduces me as “the real deal”. I’ve been called that before in the USA. I think it’s my accent. It’s perceived as less classy in Australian meetings where I sound like I’m from a farm near Wagga Wagga. I’m not scared. I’m going into battle.
Great.
I’m told to go get the car filled up with petrol and give the receipt to Johnnie. I accidentally scrape the side turning into a tight alleyway. I forget that the bulk of the car is on my right, not my left…. Opps. Is this going to eat into my profit margin on this escapade? Will I end up being in the red for this adventure?
How much disaster is too much disaster? Time for bed (couch) and a little bit of sleep before production.
Day 1 – Monday
18 and 7/8 pages
I woke up in the middle of the night wondering if full frontal nudity means actual full bush. Also, does our actress have a full bush? If our actress does not have a full bush, or no bush, is that double full frontal?? Is vag crack verboten? When it comes to sex and the female body, there is often a culture clash with Americans. I discovered how prudish they were many years ago when an actual medical professional tried to talk me out of breastfeeding my toddler. I really need to be clear with the producing partners, actress and intimacy co-ordinator about how much full-frontal is too much full-frontal.
Turns out that full frontal in this case means everything plus a modesty garment. This modesty garment is a bush-shaped flesh coloured piece of fabric, stuck to the area in question. So no bush, no crack. All robot.
Shower sex scene is first up followed by a man-butt robot stalking scene. More kisses and nudity through day ending with a scene where the nude robot electrocutes a guy in the pool. Hello Patrick reference. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!
After a day filled with so many brave nude actors, the guy who is performing the role of the electrocuted guy in the pool arrives and tells me he is willing to do one take and will not get his hair wet. After a moment of internal director panic and a brainstorm, he gets in the spirit. With respectful creative collaboration, his bravery grows and he gives some amazing electrocution acting. Plus, a classy, face-down drowned corpse.
Day 2 – Tuesday
50 scenes including VFX plates.
16 pages.
Lots of scenes. Straight to bed.
Day 3 – Wednesday
22 and 2/8ths pages.
We use a funeral urn as a prop. Turns out there is actually someone in the urn, so the actress is very careful to be grateful to her unexpected scene partner. Will we get haunted? Is this the opening scene of an entirely different horror movie? Respect and thanks to the person in the urn.
I recognise a victim from Summer Bay! It’s Jaclyn Albergoni who played constable Georgina Watson on Home and Away. Can she use her Australian accent in the movie? No.
She does a very good death scene though. The dismembered limb props are “hers”.
At the end of the day, it turns out that the 1920s song featured in three scenes (two of which are in the can already) is not actually copyright free. It will become public domain in Mexico in two more years. The song is out! In the trash can with the fake limbs!
Day 4 – Thursday
17 pages
Lots of stunts and fake blood today. I wear a work onesie, and it makes me look like Rosie Riviter.
We have a stunt performer on set today to help with choreographing fight scenes and death scenes. She’s very cool and knows lots of ways to make it look like you can kill someone.
stunt video:
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I notice that 6 scenes that are already in the can are on tomorrow’s call sheet. Hmmm… on closer inspection, 3 scenes are missing completely from the schedule. I do a triple check to make sure everything is accounted for.
Someone tells me that the correct term for this movie is “Mockbuster”. I like it.
Day 5 – Friday
15 pages
The construction dudes at my couch-home have cleaned the kitchen! They must know I am staying in the house because of my luggage and neatly folded bedding. We have never been in the house at the same time though! I wonder what time they start and finish. They certainly aren’t around from 11pm to 7am, which is when I’m there.
Today is car stunt day! I star as lady crossing the street who is hit by the car. I get fake blood all over my face.
The stunty also helps with baseball bat bashings, hair pulling and various bits of robot violence. There’s blood, guts, vomit, maggots and worms.
I tell the male lead (Nic Caruccio) that I was getting real Tom Cruise vibes from his emotional climax scene. He started to imperceptibly nod in the next take (just like Tom Cruise!). 10/10 acting and stunts all around.
We shoot out the house location and it’s fembot picture wrap.
We’ve broken this movie’s back. The only way out is to shoot our way out!
Day 6 – Saturday
22 pages
Final day in the café/ restaurant location. Twinkle lights get everyone out of design trouble. Empty plates because keeping track of food continuity without a script supervisor sucks.
Galleries are shot out the back throughout the day, including Hailey’s robot stills, so she says hi/goodbye to everyone!
No one ever followed me up about the scraped car, I hope the movie insurance covered it.
Post production
I worked with editor Rob Pallatina based in London completely by email. It was a pleasure!
A few days before Christmas, I was invited to a meeting to discuss postproduction – at the time, I was downtown doing my Christmas shopping. It turned out to be the sound mix spotting session, so I made it work on zoom in a café, despite challenges.
During the spotting session, someone came in and said that ‘Soulm8’ is no longer being made because the second M3gan film didn’t do so well at the box office.
I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and say goodbye and “call me!”
VOD prem day
After searching everywhere for Soulmates, I called to ask where I could find the film – turns out it’s now called Housemaid! (not to be confused with The Housemaid staring Amanda Seyfried and Sydney Sweeney.)
Out now!
Housemaid is now on Prime in the USA and when I checked it was #7 in horror movies on Prime in the USA. Catch it in Australia on VOD on Apple TV, Google Play, Fetch TV, Foxtel, Amazon Prime Video and on DVD at Sanity and JB Hifi online.
