by The Fluffer
In most accounts of Handmade Films, the legendary 1980s film company of ex-Beatle George Harrison and his manager Denis O’Brien, Water is a sort of bastard stepchild. It’s been called the film that marked a turning point in the company, a project which cost too much, a movie no one liked, which wasted a George Harrison and Ringo Starr cameo, that’s been criticised by its own makers, Dick Clement and Ian Le Frenais, as well as those involved in Handmade’s A Private Function (1984), who whinged that their budget was cut to pay for Water; cuddly Leonard Maltin gave it a “BOMB” rating.
We actually really like Water. Maybe we’re the only people who do, but we think that it’s funny, charming, full of great gags and performances, and has a satisfying ending.
For those unaware, the film is set in the British colony of Cascara, a Caribbean backwater run by dope-smoking governor Michael Caine, who has to deal with incompetent revolutionaries (led by Billy Connolly), an unfaithful wife (Brenda Vaccaro) and disdain from London. The island becomes valuable when they discover mineral water, leading to interest from various corporations, Hollywood stars, governments. The film was based on an idea of American writer Bill Persky, and taken over by Le Frenais and Clement; they had made Bullshot (1983) for Handmade Films, who agreed to back Water, subject to casting.
O’Brien wanted Michael Palin to play the lead tole of the governor. Palin read the script and wrote in his diary, “First 16 pages are wonderfully funny, but it all falls apart and there isn’t a laugh after that. No characters are developed, new characters are thrust in instead and the jokes become stretched and laboured… I know it’s going to be only a slightly more exciting version of Yellowbeard and Bullshot.”
The tone of Water is very much in the mode of irreverent British ‘80s comedy – making fun of everyone (British, Cubans, Americans, West Indians, French), being anti Imperialist while still leaning in to white saviour narrative (very of its era, eg The Mission, A Passage to India, The Deceivers). But there are lots of perks. The film looks wonderful (it was mostly shot in St Lucia), the cast are winning, George Harrison’s cameo is excellently utilised in the context of the film, Leonard Rossiter (in a role turned down by John Cleese) is wonderful in the last film he made before he died.
Water is full of American content and actors (Dennis Dugan, Jimmy Walker, Fred Gwynne, Valerie Perrine, Dick Shawn), but struggled to get a release in the US. We’re actually not sure why. The big American comedies in 1985 included Fletch, Brewster’s Millions, Police Academy 2, Spies Like Us, Teen Wolf, Desperately Seeking Susan and Prizzi’s Honour – maybe Water didn’t fit in amongst that crowd. Maybe the satire was too much. Maybe American audiences simply don’t like films set in the Caribbean – two comedies set in the same region which came out shortly afterwards, Club Paradise with Robin Williams and The Last Resort with Charles Grodin, also flopped.
Water flopped. No one had much good to say about it. But stuff it, we really like it.
