by Anthony O'Connor
Worth: Discs: 4, The Film: 3.5/5, The Extras: 4/5, Overall: 7.5/10
FilmInk rates movies out of $20 — the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth
Cast:
Steve Railsback, Peter Firth, Mathilda May, Frank Finlay, Patrick Stewart, John Hallam
Intro:
… a worthy addition to the film library of anyone who appreciates their flashy trash …
The Film:
For a lot of men, particularly Boomers, Gen X and elder millennials, Lifeforce is a movie that holds a fond, albeit slightly toey, place in their hearts. While this sci-fi/horror flick is from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist director Tobe Hooper, that’s not why people remember it. This London-smashing opus comes from the good folks at Cannon Films, exploitation maestros who gave us quality gear like Bloodsport, Cobra and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. But that’s not why people remember it either. And while it’s an adaptation of the cult novel Space Vampires by author Colin Wilson, that’s also not why people remember it.
No, the reason why people so fondly recall Lifeforce 41 years after its release can be summarised in two words: Mathilda May. But we’ll get to her in a sec; first let’s detail the story.
Lifeforce is about a joint Pom and Seppo space mission aboard the shuttle Churchill as it pissfarts about in the coma of Halley’s Comet. Inside the iconic interstellar object, the crew finds a strange ship shaped like an enormous gnarled todger, which contains a bunch of desiccated bat creatures, and three naked humanoid figures; two blokes (who end up with about 90 seconds of screen time) and an absurdly, jaw-dropping gorgeous Space Girl (Mathilda May).
We time-jump about a month and the Churchill has arrived on Earth. However, all it contains are the charred remains of the crew and the three starkers humanoids. Slowly but surely, the horny Poms are drawn to Space Girl’s extreme nudity and straight teeth and things take a tone for the vampiric. Then the Churchill’s sole survivor, Colonel Tom Carlsen (Steve Railsback), lands on Earth but will he be too late to stop London turning into something even worse than boiled pizza and bad weather?
The thing you need to know about Lifeforce is that the story, the plot and pretty much everything that happens is complete and total nonsense. Absolute monkey trousers, clown shoes and propeller hat for much of its runtime. It is also, and this cannot be overstated, wonderfully entertaining.
Despite the pedigree of the director (Tobe Hooper!) and writer (Dan O’Bannon of Alien fame!), Lifeforce is a trashy hot mess. Honestly, the first half an hour is pretty great and not just because of Mathilda May’s near constant nudity (the catalyst for many a young man’s sexual awakening, just quietly), however the rather long second act piles too much onto the plate, including body hopping, psychic connections, vampiric powers and a scene that culminates in Steve Railsback and Patrick Stewart having an uncomfortably rapey pash (honestly, it needs to be seen to be believed).
A notorious flop both critically and commercially, Lifeforce is a fascinating watch. There are so many baffling choices made here that the viewing experience becomes surreal yet compulsive, as you shake your head and wonder aloud, “What the hell were they thinking?”
Performances range from the wooden but unforgettable with Mathilda May’s Space Girl doing very little other than disrobing and occasionally snogging lucky, doomed humans, but nonetheless commanding everyone’s full, undivided attention. Steve Railsback does his best with a script that can at best be described as “enthusiastic” and Frank Finlay is a hoot as Doctor Hans Fallada, and seems to be the only cast member to realise what a magnificent turkey he’s acting in. Oh, and Patrick Stewart is unforgettable in a small but pivotal role which must have made him yearn for comparative sanity of the previous year’s Dune from David Lynch!
Lifeforce is not a good film, but it’s a well made production that takes some giddy big swings. Do many of them land? Hell, no, it’s a bloody shambles, but it’s so earnestly attempting to do something amazing that you can’t help but be charmed by the bloody thing. Like a dachshund carrying a fallen oak tree, it never manages to succeed, but it’s adorable to watch it have a crack.
Lifeforce is the definitive movie watch with mates, pizza and beer. A howlingly (unintentionally) funny genre disaster that will have your loungeroom full of riffs about “tug bays” and the scene where a character sadly laments of Space Girl, “Now she has clothes.”
The Extras:
There’s an old idiom, “no one sets out to make a bad film” and that feels like the leitmotif of Lifeforce’s extras. There’s a heaping helping of the good stuff here, including three audio commentaries: one with director Tobe Hooper, moderated by filmmaker Tim Sullivan, a second with make-up effects designer Nick Maley, moderated by filmmaker Michael Felsher and a third by visual effects artist Douglas Smith, moderated by film historian Howard S. Berger.
Both the theatrical and (superior, longer) international cut are included and there are interviews with actor Steve Railsback, Mathilda May (who has a great sense of humour about the whole thing and reveals that Hooper was a delightful gentleman to her on set) and Tobe Hooper himself. You are much missed, sir.
Best in show goes to Cannon Fodder: The Making of Lifeforce, which is a feature length collection of talking heads that contains revelations about the script, Hooper’s (alleged) drug use, Mathilda May’s pubic hair length (which became quite the spicy debate!) and the frankly pervy Pommy crew members who used all and every excuse to get a gander at the French ingénue. There’s also an obvious affection that many of the cast and crew hold for the film, despite its dismal box office and critical lambasting.
Also, it cannot be overstated, the sheer physical size of this collection and the abundant riches included are amazing. There’s an enormous print of the original Lifeforce poster, an equally enormous one with the original title Space Vampires, there are reprints of the 1985 press kit, lobby cards and the Aussie daybill. There’s also a copy of the script but, disappointingly, it’s just the dialogue and none of the action. Mate, we’re not watching this thing for the dialogue! Still, if you’d like to reenact some of the racier scenes with your significant other, that’s now an option.
The whole caper comes housed in a massive box with original artwork and looks very flash on the shelf of any right-thinking, mildly toey, collector.
The Verdict:
Lifeforce is messy, cheesy, silly and utterly ill conceived. The product of a lot of talented people collectively missing the mark all at once, it is nonetheless one of the most interesting failures in the history of film.
Is it Quatermass with boobs or sci-fi space Dracula? Lifeforce is never entirely sure, but watching this gorgeous-looking flick fly off the rails over and over again is profoundly entertaining. Seemingly made for amateur MST3K style mockery, Lifeforce is a worthy addition to the film library of anyone who appreciates their flashy trash and, perhaps, the occasional visit to the tug bay.
