Worth: $12.00
FilmInk rates movies out of $20 — the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth
Cast:
Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O’Connor, Isabela Merced, Tahar Rahim, Emma Roberts, Adam Scott
Intro:
… a strong premise, a talented cast and some of the dopiest moments on the big screen in recent memory. It’s a bit of a mess, although not without its notable moments.
There are good movies, there are bad movies and then there are movies that have a lot of potential but somehow squander it in ways that are both fascinating and baffling. Madame Web, the latest iteration in Sony’s Spider-Man Universe (aka Spidey adjacent gear that doesn’t actually contain the webslinger) is a prime example of that latter variety, featuring a strong premise, a talented cast and some of the dopiest moments on the big screen in recent memory. It’s a bit of a mess, although not without its notable moments.
Madame Web is the story of Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson) an aloof paramedic who after an accident in which she briefly dies, begins manifesting powers of precognition. Almost as if she has some kind of… spider sense. These new, and unwelcome, abilities put Cassie in the path of three teenage girls, Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney), Mattie Franklin (Celeste O’Connor) and Anya Corazon (Isabela Merced). Said girls are being hunted by a wealthy serial killer with inexplicable powers, Ezekial Sims (Tahar Rahim), and it’s up to Cassie to save them, despite her complete disinterest in forging personal connections or embracing her destiny.
Broadly speaking, there’s a solid, albeit slightly fiddly story hidden within the 116 minute tangle that is Madame Web. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, that narrative was lost (either through reshoots or panicked last minute editing), leaving an uneven, leaden and often confused pile of story beats that barely fit together. It’s a pity too, because performances here are pretty good. Dakota Johnson shines throughout, gamely struggling with some truly risible dialogue with a lot of charm and Sydney Sweeney is a highlight as the rather gormless Julia. Further compounding the problems is first time feature director SJ Clarkson’s pedestrian helming of the project, delivering flat, uninteresting exposition dump scenes followed by often incoherent, cheap-looking action sequences. The film takes a huge dive in the third act too and never recovers, offering a conclusion that had the preview screening audience howling with mocking laughter.
So, where does Madam Web sit in the SSU? Well, it’s better than the Venom films (although those have their defenders and we’re not here to judge). It’s less competently made than Morbius, but honestly it’s more enjoyable, due to some great performances and unintentional hilarity. That’s not a recommendation, mind you. This is yet another Sony Spider flick that does little to distinguish itself or even justify its existence. At this point, maybe Kraven should come along and hunt the whole thing into extinction.