Well, this looks awful.
Hotly anticipated by absolutely no one, this sequel to 2001’s Gnomeo & Juliet sees nominal leads James McAvoy and Emily Blunt shunted to the side in favour of the Johnny Depp-voiced Sherlock Gnomes and Chiwetel Ejiofor as, I dunno, Doctor Wats-Gnome or something. Lazy fart jokes ensue, as does the blackening of resumes of co-stars Maggie Smith, Michael Caine, Ashley Jensen, Matt Lucas, Stephen Merchant, and Mary J. Blige.
Look, to be fair, your kids might like it and, if you really want to look on the bright side, if they do, they’re probably not going rack up much of a HECS debt down the track.
Sherlock Gnomes is in cinemas from April 5 (March 29 in Victoria and Queenland). Probably quite briefly.