Lesbian Vampire Killers
- Director:Phil Claydon
- Cast:Silvia Colloca, James Corden, Mathew Horne, Paul McGann
- Release Date:May 21, 2009
- Running time:88 minutes
- Film Worth:$9.50
- FILMINK rates movies out of $20 - the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth
“…a guilty pleasure…”
Dodgy title aside (are we meant to be shocked or seduced?), Lesbian Vampire Killers smacks of the worst kind of comedy horror designed for teenagers with sex on the brain, and not a lot else. Well, guess what? That's exactly what it is, though it's also admittedly quite a lot of fun.
Lending a serve to sub-genre classics like Vampyros Lesbos and The Hunger, our story starts in the mists of time when a curse is handed down from Carmilla, Queen Of The Vampires (Silvia Colloca). Unless the ancestor of Baron Maclaren finds an ancient sword to slay a resurgent monarch, forever more will the women of Cragwich be seduced by lesbian vampires. And so they are...until several centuries pass, and the hapless ancestor (James Corden) and his sex-besotted, foul-mouthed best friend (Mathew Horne) stumble into Cragwich with a vanload of busty Swedish tourists. Things go bump, slurp and bite in the night as Carmilla's faithful seek revenge, and our shapeless heroes defend themselves against a graveyard of sexy vampires.
This is silly stuff indeed, and just as it should be. From the opening, director Phil Claydon sets out a comic book frame, complete with subtitles and page turns. It's rowdy, bawdy and frequently rude; the line "I know something's really wrong here, but is there any chance that we could just ignore it?" speaks as much of the film as it does their predicament. Paul McGann lends comic weight as a Van Helsing-esque vicar, while James Corden and Mathew Horne corner the market on fart, dick and tit jokes as vampires explode in a gooey mess of sticky, viscous liquid. The relentlessly puerile, juvenile humour of Lesbian Vampire Killers makes it something of a guilty pleasure, but a pleasure none the less.