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Machete (Film)

Rating: MA

Running Time: 105

Country: USA

Director: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez

Cast: Jessica Alba, Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Rose McGowan, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Danny Trejo

Distributor: Sony

Release Date: November 11, 2010

Film Worth: $9.50

FILMINK rates movies out of $20 - the score indicates the amount we believe a ticket to the movie to be worth

While it’s well made and Danny Trejo is an amazing presence on screen, the sustained over-the-top violence becomes tiresome.

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Anyone who's seen the famed Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino exploitation movie salute double shot, Grindhouse, has probably been looking forward to Machete ever since they saw its hilarious fake trailer - since before it existed, so to speak. The disappointing reality is that as a feature film, Machete makes a damned good three-minute trailer.

 

Not that there aren't exciting elements here, and towering (literally) above them all is the amazing presence of Danny Trejo as the titular Machete, a sort of uber-Charles Bronson with tattoos, scars and leathery skin who looks like he was carved from Mount Rushmore. It's just that the film falls - with a dull thud - between two stools. It's too much of an over-the-top sustained spoof on seventies exploitation flicks to be seriously gripping, and yet too gory, repetitive and frenetic - and short on actual jokes - to be particularly funny.

 

In any event, the story revolves around former Fed turned contract hitman Machete being hired, grudgingly, to assassinate rabidly anti-Mexican politician Senator John McLaughlin, who is played to fine effect  by Robert De Niro, one of a slew of stars, from Steven Seagal to Don Johnson, who've evidently queued up to be part of Robert Rodriguez' self-parodic fun. Machete's backers double-cross him, he seeks revenge, and the conspiratorial plot which then unfolds is merely instrumental to the racking up of a whopping body count. Modes of despatch include shooting, stabbing and crucifixion, and Machete's comrades range from a gun-toting priest called Padre (Cheech Marin) to immigration officer - and love interest - Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba). On the other side are all manner of corrupt opportunists who are bent on killing Machete and each other.

 

This is well made schlock, but it's schlock nonetheless, and it gets boring.

 

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